A researcher has come up with some simple math that sucks the life out of the vampire myth, proving that these highly popular creatures can't exist.
University of Central Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou's work debunks pseudoscientific ideas, such as vampires and zombies, in an attempt to enhance public literacy. Not only does the public believe in such topics, but the percentages are at dangerously high level, Efthimiou told LiveScience.
Legend has it that vampires feed on human blood and once bitten a person turns into a vampire and starts feasting on the blood of others.
Efthimiou's debunking logic: On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on.
- Vampires a Mathematical Impossibility, Scientist Says
Note the awwwwwful pun in the first sentence of the article. I fully approve. ;)
8 comments:
I'm amazed people actually beleive in vampires, mathmatics aside. Oh well, I have to go drop by the blood bank for a withdrawal.
Good lord, I think that's the worst debunking of a mythical creature I've ever seen. By that argument, all living creatures are mathematically impossible, because their populations keep growing exponentially to infinity. Clearly, the only possible inhabitants of Earth are non-reproducing undead, such as Jason and those skeletons Sinbad fought.
Has there ever been a legend where all a vampire's victims were vampirized upon death?
Okay, okay, there are more holes in that arguement than in a vampire victim's neck. Awful arguements, awful puns, blah blah blah. ;) I'm not sure why, but I still found it terribly amusing.
Meso, good to hear you're a humane vampire.
I liked it too.
remy... have you made sweet potato soup yet? I'm still trying to steal away a recipe from you for a future Friday Day of Soup.
Yes I did but I found it too sweet. Don't know what that says about me.
I put onions in so that could have added sweet. I might try again and add lemmon.
Good luck on Friday.
Fine, fine, let's play along.
What could be holding down vampiric reproduction? A lower percentage of victims becoming vampires, certainly--maybe most just die, or recover after looking pale and consumptive for a few days. But that would only decrease the natural reproductive rate, and the population would still increase exponentially...we need density-dependent effects.
Perhaps the per-vampire vampirization rate decreases as the number of vampires increases. For one thing, it makes it more likely that several vampires would happen to bite the same person each month (assuming the bites aren't individually fatal), thus only producing one new vampire instead of several. Also, any vampire-resistance alleles are going to be selected for in the local human population, so that over time more and more people are born with an uncontrollable love of garlic, cross-shaped stigmata, etc., making them unsuitable prey.
But an increased vampire mortality (er, re-mortality) rate is probably the biggest culprit. We all know that when you put two vampires in a room for long enough, they'll probably try to kill each other. This is observable in Anne Rice novels, American movies and comic books and Japanese ones, hence must be true. Beyond casualties of direct conflict, the necessary lightless areas for daytime snoozing (warehouses, catacombs and so forth) will become overcrowded, forcing the weaker vampires to cobble together back-alley sunshades from cardboard and newspapers, only to spontaneously combust when a gust of wind or plummeting pigeon corpse lets in a few sunbeams.
Finally, exceptional levels of bloodsuckery can't fail to alert the more observant humans, and in the end warrior priests, Belmont family members, renegade half-vampires, superpowered cheerleaders and so forth will converge on the area. They'll return vampire populations to their normal levels in an orgy of violence that just barely misses the NC-13 rating (because, although people's brains are pulled out of their eye sockets in slow motion, no one is shown in the shower.)
There! I disproved his silly claim the long and rigorous way. Needless to say, with a name like "Costas Efthimiou," he's obviously just trying to cover up the existence of his fellow stalkers of the night.
Yes I did but I found it too sweet. Don't know what that says about me.
I put onions in so that could have added sweet. I might try again and add lemmon.
(nods) I'm not so fond of sweet soup, unless it's specifically designed to be sweet (such as some of the chilled fruit -type soups). Good luck with the lemon!
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